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But only to him. I can’t blame myself. There was more to it than that. So much more. But that’s the way it goes. He’s over and done with me and I sit here rotting. Waiting for the scar tissue around the hole in my mind (where all of the things I believed about him have been distorted, warped, changed and ripped out) to harden. Waiting for the scars across my torn fingerprints to close and fade into one of the many lines that say so much without speaking. He worked his way into my fingerprints. Fingerprints do change. They are lives. You can read a fortune upon them and, if you follow the curves, distinguish individual pain. Fingerprints burn and cry and bleed longer, harder than eyes ever could. I wash them daily, my scars and fingerprints. Caress them. Sometimes I see him. Just long enough that he can thrust himself back into my life. Long enough for the wound to be torn farther to add bacteria to the contaminated flesh. I sit in the shower for hours crying the water that consumes. Yes. Then you met Clarence Stanton." Clarence was a real bad man", she said quietly, the memory close to being as frightening as the life she'd lived back then. "But he can't have sent you. He's been dead past four years. Some meaner motherfucker's boot went and dropped against his head."The Englishman had stopped moving. He was presumably confident of her thrall. But he was wrong. And the height of his confidence, she decided, was the moment to reclaim initiative, to ignore the inexplicable. The X-Files could go hang, she resolved, because money was money, and escape was escape.She knew that she could make him come. He'd pushed himself to the edge, and he was trying to lie low for a while. But even if he could read minds, which she wasn't exactly giving in on, she was the one in the room who could read bodies. Those little twitches against her pubic bone told enough of the story, and the increasing stiffness of the rod was as good as getting the author's name.She started to fuck him.
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